Grace and Consequences

When is grace no longer grace, but enabling sin?

I was watching my four-year-old foster niece yesterday while a friend visited. We were in the living room and my niece was in the kitchen playing play dough. The rule is no play dough in the living room. This meant that the four-year-old was climbing the walls trying to relay all of her wonderful creations while we were in the other room. Distracted since I was catching up with a friend, I told her "Your play dough waffle is wonderful, but the next time you bring any play dough into the living room, you will need to put it away." She acknowledged she heard me and then played quietly in the kitchen until my friend left. Sure enough, moments later, she came out to show me the new dragon head she had fashioned, and after acknowledging her hard work, I told her, "If you bring it into the living room again, you will need to put it away," already forgetting I gave her that warning.

"You already told me that, Miss Gina."

"Told you what?"

"That if I bring it into the living room again, I would need to put it away."

Wow. In that moment, I remembered I HAD already given her that warning. I acknowledged I had forgotten and told her that because I forgot, she was getting another chance. Interestingly, she only played for a few more minutes before putting the play dough away on her own. I personally think she was unimpressed that I didn't follow through and make her put it all away.

I've been thinking a lot about grace lately. I'm not sure where I first heard the definition of grace as when you are "given something you don't deserve," but it's stuck with me for years and makes sense based on the way I see it used in Scripture. In this case, my niece was given another chance to play, even though she didn't deserve it based on her disobedience. Perhaps I shouldn't have given it to her, but since it was my error, I decided to give it.

Is that grace, though? Is allowing sin to continue actually giving someone what they deserve? We've recently had a church discipline situation in our church that I believe was poorly handled from the beginning based on the information I had, and I struggle to wonder if giving the leadership time to work things out in hindsight now is not grace, but is hurting them in the long run. Is my silence perpetuating a problem, or allowing others to grow? When is the time that it becomes a part of the problem?

I was reading in Philippians 4 this morning and thinking about the issues in this church that Paul was addressing. What were those women of a different mind about? Were they fighting with each other, or individually fighting with the leaders? What does "the same mind" look like in this context? Were they, perhaps, disagreeing with how leadership had disciplined someone and spreading gossip about it? Were they not showing forgiveness?

I respect Paul for calling them out by name in a letter that was being read in front of the church, but he obviously didn't feel details were necessary and the Lord ordained that they would not be provided for us, so this is what we are left with. It is what we need. So, it is enough. I wish there were more. I wish that there was a procedure outlined in Scripture.

I know God looks at my heart. He is the only one qualified and the only one who truly sees me for who I am, even more clearly than I can see myself. When I catch glimpses, it often makes me nauseous.