Speaking to the One Who Hears Me

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:5-7

I've been working on word studies of this passage today in preparation for a retreat I will be speaking at in April. I've been thinking a lot about my prayer life and why it is that I don't pray through my anxiety first. I had a horrible dream last night, and I know it was the result of the anxiety I've been feeling about the lack of control I have ultimately have over my own life.

I've had some circumstances recently which made me very aware of the fact that I don't have as much influence over others as what I previously thought. Also, what an idol that perceived influence has been in my life. Knowing that with "just one word," I could change people's minds has been something I've relied on, and realizing it's not true has been very devastating to me. Of course, this devastation is ultimately revealing an idol because the loss shouldn't have wrecked my life the way it has. My dream reminded me of how difficult the process has been in my life, as I was confronted with a very wrong situation and didn't feel comfortable telling people because I wasn't sure they were the "right" people to tell because I was scared they would betray me too.

God hears me. He listens. He is not easily influenced or manipulated or changed. He is constant. I can tell Him. He will hear me.

Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
who conducts his affairs with justice.
For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
-Psalm 112:4-8